Maddog Strong - A Conversation With Frank & Cyndi Grobmeier

Frank and Cyndi Grobmeier endured the unthinkable after the death of their daughter just after her 18th birthday.  I had the opportunity to spend time with them in the Mokena office of their charity, The Maddog Strong Foundation. They have a mission to not only have people sign their donor card but to also have the conversation with loved ones as well.

They so graciously shared, at length, the story of their family before and after the loss of their daughter and what they have done and are doing to make something amazing out of their tragedy. This is a special episode and I hope you enjoy listening as much as I enjoyed talking to Frank and Cyndi.  Please be sure to check out their website, www.maddogstrong.org , they are also on Facebook, X, Instagram, and YouTube!  You can register for their 5k, Miles For Maddog, HERE. 

Transcript

Israel: 0:00

Well, I thought about that.

Frank: 0:01

Welcome to Mokena's Front.

Israel: 0:02

Porch a Mokena History podcast with Mac Dalek and me, israel Smith.

Frank: 0:08

Matty was always. We always said she had a servant's heart. She was the type of kid that she just if anybody needed help, she wouldn't help. Whether she knew what she was doing or not, she'd still try to help.

Frank: 0:21

I got to talk to you, ok, well, what she was you know that car accident made me think that, if there's something like that were to ever happen again and things didn't work out as well, I want something good to come from something bad. So I want to be an organ donor and I was like, no, we are not having this conversation. Well, it all started really because I wanted to be able to just talk about Matty again. You know that she was gone and I wanted that many opportunities I could talk about Matty. Any day I get to talk about Matty is a good day, and so that was always the. That's how this, the whole thing got started. But we also found the hope and the donation gives you.

Israel: 1:02

I got to meet Frank and Cindy Grobmeier last year some time when they came and spoke to the Molkina Lions Club and shared the story, some of the story that you're going to hear in this episode. They are a great couple. They turned a tragedy into something amazing that they're doing for the community and for really, you know, goes well beyond that now with some of the things that they're working on that you'll hear them talk about. But I got to meet them at the Molkina Lions Club meeting. As I said, they kind of shared a little bit of their story and it was just a really touching and compelling story and I'm sure a lot of us know somebody that's been touched by organ donation one way or another. So I don't want to get too much into it or share too much. This is a long episode. They had a lot to say and I'm glad we were able to share it here. But please enjoy this episode.

Israel: 1:53

This is November November it's Thanksgiving is coming up here in a couple of days and we have a lot to be thankful for. We just passed Veterans Day, so we're thankful for all our veterans. We're thankful for Thanksgiving that we're able to come up and celebrate together and I'm thankful for groups like this that are doing great work in our community. So enjoy their story and we have some information at the end for you if you want to contact them or volunteer or make a donation. So we'll share that at the end. So enjoy this episode of Moquina's Friend Porch. Just tell me a little about where'd you guys grow up? Where were you born?

Israel: 2:32

So I grew up out here.

Cyndi: 2:33

I grew up in Green Garden, went to Piattone High School, spent my whole life out here until I graduated and decided to go to St Xavier University up on the South side of Chicago and that was sort of my first foray onto into the city and I was majoring in communication there, which is how I met Frank.

Israel: 2:55

Oh, okay.

Frank: 2:56

And I. It's the Green Acre story. I guess I was the city boy. I grew up in Chicago, on the Southwest side, around 83rd and Pulaski, oh really.

Israel: 3:07

My wife grew up at 79th and Pulaski. Oh yeah, Went to Bogan Right by Bogan. Yeah, I went to Brother Rice. Okay.

Frank: 3:13

And then went, ended up going to St Xavier and that's where, like Cindy said, that's where we met. And then when we, when we got married and we're looking to buy our first house, she suggested we move out here. And I went wait, South of I-80?, Isn't? That like where the earth just drops off. We can't go out there. It's the best move we ever made.

Israel: 3:36

You know that's funny because my wife has a very similar story. Born lived in their city, in the city of her whole life until she married me and I brought her out here and we've been in the suburbs ever since. So where and where did you first live in this area?

Frank: 3:54

Actually, when we moved, when we first got married, we moved to Worth, to an apartment in Worth, and then we decided that you know she had to ease me into moving out here. So she's like well, you're familiar with Harlem Avenue. Why don't we just go further south on Harlem until we hit Sod Farms, and then that's where we're going to stake our claim? So we've actually moved into our first house and it's still the house we live in today. Oh wow, Right in Frankfurt Square, right off of Harlem.

Israel: 4:23

Oh, wow, okay, Wow. That's great, and so professionally. You said you studied marketing, and so is that what you all end up doing after college?

Cyndi: 4:37

So I started going. I started in the communication major thinking that I was going to get into broadcast news or something, I think, like everybody back then, and ended up having an opportunity to help one of my faculty members teach and fell in love with it. So I eventually, when we graduated, I went and got my master's degree from Governor's State. Actually, we both did and ended up teaching part time for years and I've been full time teaching communication at St Xavier University, our alma mater, for the past six years.

Israel: 5:08

Oh, that's great, Wow, okay.

Frank: 5:12

And I had. Out of college I went to work in the news field. I was a reporter for several publications. Ultimately, I ended up at the Chicago Tribune covering the Southwest Suburb, chickery Hills area, pailas Hills area.

Israel: 5:28

What kind of stuff would you cover for them?

Frank: 5:30

A lot of boring stuff, a lot of board meetings and school board meetings and village board meetings and you know whatever. When a big story broke, then they'd say, okay, you get out of the way and we're bringing in our heavy crew. And I, you know, and I didn't want to earn my bones, I wanted them given to me. So I was like, all right, well, maybe this isn't for me. And then we decided we were going to get married and start a family, and so I, I guess I said that's no life for a family guy. So I proudly call myself a recovering journalist.

Frank: 6:06

And so I got out of the news business and went back from actually my masters at governors, because I don't have an original thought. I have to follow everything, cindy does.

Israel: 6:17

So she goes to governors.

Frank: 6:19

I'm like, hey, that's a good idea, I'll go to governor.

Israel: 6:21

Hey, nothing wrong with following a good thought, right?

Frank: 6:24

So that's where I went as well. And then I went into the lucrative world of the lighting industry and I worked for a lighting light bulb manufacturer and in Alcip. And when I started there they told me you know, you, you get into this industry, you're never getting out, it's a. And I said it sounds like it's a life sentence. And they said it is a life sentence. So yeah, I spent 30 years working in marketing for different lighting manufacturers and learned a lot and had a lot of fun.

Israel: 6:56

And yeah, so how about do you all still have a family parents, siblings or anything In the area?

Cyndi: 7:03

So I'm an only child.

Israel: 7:04

Okay.

Cyndi: 7:05

But my mom lives in Chicago Heights.

Israel: 7:07

Okay.

Cyndi: 7:09

My dad passed away when I was 14.

Israel: 7:10

So, yeah, and how about you, frank?

Cyndi: 7:11

Most of the rest of my family is either in Ireland or on the East Coast.

Israel: 7:14

Ireland.

Cyndi: 7:15

Wow Like because your family came here in the recent past, my grandparents immigrated here. I'm second generation, wow.

Israel: 7:21

Okay, so have you been back?

Cyndi: 7:23

Yes, I did go back once and I want to go back again.

Israel: 7:26

Very cool. Yeah, it was very cool Okay.

Frank: 7:31

So my mom lives in Beverly and my two sisters and their husbands live well. One lives in Evergreen Park and one lives in Mount Greenwood, so they couldn't leave the South Side like I did, but all their kids did, all of our kids did.

Cyndi: 7:48

Yeah, come on, think of it.

Frank: 7:49

Yeah, I've got nieces and nephew and.

Cyndi: 7:52

I've got a niece in Washington State, a nephew in St Louis, a niece who's back here in Chicago, and then our daughter lives in New York City.

Israel: 8:00

Oh, wow.

Cyndi: 8:01

They all went phew.

Israel: 8:02

Yeah, it's either like one or the other right. Either stay super tight or spread your wings. Yeah, interesting. So what year was it then that you guys moved to Frankfurt Square In India?

Frank: 8:17

98.

Israel: 8:18

98.

Frank: 8:18

Okay, that would have been the answer I gave too, got it right.

Israel: 8:24

So tell me about that, tell me about your family, and as you two came together and settled here in the South suburbs, so we moved into Frankfurt Square in 98 and we had Sam, our oldest daughter, in 2000.

Cyndi: 8:40

She was born in February of 2000. And then, a short 16 and a half months later, we had Maddie and joined the family.

Israel: 8:47

And truly Irish, truly Irish, yeah.

Cyndi: 8:53

And you could not meet two more opposite children than. Sam and Maddie.

Israel: 8:59

How so? How's that?

Cyndi: 9:01

Everything. Sam was tall and Sam was musical and just everything came naturally to her in school and very into the arts. And Maddie, from the age of well, from the age of walking, couldn't sit still. So we, immediately, we enrolled her in a little mommy and me program in gymnastics and by the age of three they were telling us that you know, we're looking at her for team. And I went. What?

Cyndi: 9:29

By three, by three years old they were looking at her to possibly develop her to do competitive gymnastics and she was just super athletic and short and dark hair and dark eyed. And Sam was tall and blonde hair and blue eyed, go figure.

Israel: 9:44

So that's three years old. Now I know you end up at Gymkinetics. Is that at that time? Is that come later, or how did you end up there?

Cyndi: 9:51

She was at Gymkinetics her entire her entire life, her entire gymnastics career, which is super unusual in the gymnastics world. There's very few gymnasts that stay at the same gym their whole life.

Israel: 10:03

So what was it that brought? Did you just happen to come upon Gymkinetics, or?

Cyndi: 10:07

No, just you know they had a mommy and me class, and so we decided that was a good place to go and that was how we ended up there and thank goodness we did.

Frank: 10:16

But we instantly knew that that was. There was something special there. Not just not well, maddie, of course, but there was something special about that place. I don't know why it just it felt like home.

Cyndi: 10:26

You know it's just Click with the coaches and yeah Click with the coaches, everybody seemed to get along.

Frank: 10:31

you know it wasn't. There wasn't a you know a competitive thing amongst you know the parents, and it was it. Just, I don't know why it just had that, that thing that just made it click. It just felt like home and yeah, we, obviously we enjoyed it because and. Maddie enjoyed it because she stayed there the whole time.

Israel: 10:52

Yeah, graduated from there. So how does how does that work, not being really familiar with youth gymnastics, let alone you're doing competitions. Is it a year round thing she's doing? She's right.

Cyndi: 11:02

Once she, so she, they started looking at her at three. She actually started on the developmental team right before she turned six. And then, yeah, at that point, you know, when she was six, it was two to three nights a week, three hours a night, and then, as she got older, you know, it was five nights a week plus a day on the weekends. So she spent Frank used to say she probably spent more time at the gym than she really spent at home awake with us a lot of times.

Israel: 11:30

And then your daughter Sam. What was did she have like kind of a counterpart to that? Was she in something?

Cyndi: 11:37

She did, she did, she was in music and theater and so she did band and choir. Singing vocal was her thing and ultimately you know she did a lot of local theater companies but ultimately, you know, she was the lead for a hunchback of Notre Dame.

Frank: 11:53

She was as well Her senior year at.

Israel: 11:55

Lincoln Way East. Oh cool, yeah, that's awesome.

Frank: 12:01

And but it was funny because Maddie, we talk about gymnastics a lot with Maddie, but Maddie, we just she was an athlete, just pure and simple. I mean things that just came. That side came natural to her. I just remember a funny story where Sam, we were trying to get Sam into athletics and so we're like, hey, why don't we try T ball? And so we took her to T ball and she was not Not good, and so we were I'm going to practice.

Frank: 12:27

I'm going to practice with you. We're out in the front yard and we're throwing the ball back and forth and she just could not throw the ball and and it would trickle down and then Maddie would run over and she'd pick it up and she just pop right into my mitt and I was like, do that again. And then she'd be like pop. And I'm like, do it again. And Sam's like I thought we were practicing. Be quiet, let your sister play ball.

Israel: 12:50

Did she play any other sports? Did she do try anything else?

Frank: 12:53

There was just too big of a time commitment. She, she tried diving. She was really good at diving, she loved diving and they actually wanted her to be on the dive team too. But the schedules just didn't click and gymnastics was her first. There was no question, that was her passion. She loved gymnastics. We often said that she would have been a coach someday. We're sure of it.

Cyndi: 13:15

Absolutely.

Frank: 13:16

Yeah.

Israel: 13:16

And what was that like for the family? Were you guys all typically got to go together to tournaments and competitions and things we?

Cyndi: 13:24

did. Actually, sam and Maddie were really good about supporting each other. They didn't always do it, you know, not begrudgingly, but you know there were. There were a few of Sam's birthdays that she spent at a gymnastics meet which you know, usually ended up with us having to do some extra presents afterwards for that.

Cyndi: 13:41

Just cause Sam's birthday was in February and gymnastics season was January through April. Yeah, but now Maddie was really Maddie was very supportive and went to all of Sam's plays and you know performances and everything, and Sam was at as many of Maddie's meets as she could be and, yeah, they were really good about. Even though they didn't necessarily share the same passions, they had the passion for supporting each other, which I always loved, that's great.

Israel: 14:10

Yeah, and obviously then you're spending a lot of time with the gym family and you know what. How does that relationship, how did that grow over the years of spending so much time with Jim Kinetics and the group there?

Frank: 14:23

It was fantastic Still to this day I think our closest friends are gymnastics parents that Maddie did gymnastics with their kids and it was just. It's just odd how it came together. It's just you spend so much time together and you're waiting to pick up your kid or something and you strike up a conversation and then it led to hey, you want to grab a beer after this?

Frank: 14:46

And you know, oh, that's great and we just became super close to this group of friends and they've been with us through thick and thin and we've been with them and it's cool to see their kids now doing collegiate gymnastics. Or one of them, one of Maddie's best friends, graduated from college already and you know she did college gymnastics and it's just, it became such a close group of friends and they became their kids, became Maddie's group of friends. So it was fun because they we'd get together as a giant group and the parents would get together and have a blast and the kids would get together and have a blast. And usually it's, you know, usually it's the kids are going. You know you're going trying to grab and drag the kids out of a party. Like, come on, kids, let's go, we gotta go. They were dragging us out there.

Cyndi: 15:46

Like, you know, it's midnight, we have to go home, we have to get to bed, okay, okay, but for the older kids, Sam and a couple of the other older siblings, who were all into music and theater and everything they would end up putting together shows. Yeah, that we would all Somewhere around midnight, we all ended up having to watch shows that these kids would put together.

Israel: 16:06

Oh, that's great they had fun, they had fun. Nothing like it right.

Frank: 16:09

But then the gym itself was just so supportive. I mean, I thought it was commonplace that the well the owner of the gym comes to your kids you know communion right, isn't that normal? No, I was like really.

Israel: 16:25

And Jim, you were talking about Jim Fredrickson. Jim Fredrickson at Gym, canadex, he was at.

Frank: 16:28

They were at him and his wife were at family events. They were Maddie's graduation parties. The other coaches there you know we would hang out with and watch Bearers games with. I mean it was just it was a community. It really was, and we're so blessed that that we had that. We're so blessed that Maddie had a great program to go in and develop. I say it developed her as a person as much as it developed her as an athlete. But it also it gave us so much too. We're just really lucky to have Jim Canadex. Yeah.

Israel: 17:04

So so let's maybe get into high school years. So Maddie got into high school. She's still doing gymnastics. Where's her kind of gymnastics career at that point?

Cyndi: 17:14

So her sophomore year of high school she was actually offered a full ride scholarship to the University of Illinois at. Chicago, which was amazing, and it was. It was all those years of work. It was what you know, what she had been working for. And so, and we fell in love with the coaches. She fell in love with the coaches at UIC, and so we went through, you know, most of her junior, most of all of her part of her sophomore year, all of her junior year, that's where she was going. Everything was all set.

Frank: 17:44

So so they give you a, they can't actually sign the letter of intent until their senior year, the summer of their senior year.

Cyndi: 17:52

November of their senior year.

Frank: 17:54

Okay, and then so she verbally committed, she said I'm in, I'm, I'm agreeing, and she stopped all the. So she didn't really sign a letter of intent at that point yet, because she was too young. But yeah.

Cyndi: 18:07

So come September of her senior year of high school and we get a phone call one day and it's her right after school and she's sobbing. Uic decided to close their men's and women's gymnastics program. They rescinded her scholarship, they rescinded the other three scholarship offers that they had for incoming freshmen and she was Any reason?

Israel: 18:29

like do they say, is it just not getting enough Financial?

Cyndi: 18:32

It was. You know that was their reasoning behind it. But in, you know, the coaches were, so they, the coaches, were devastated and so you know. So here's every there's no opportunity now for another scholarship, they're all committed. So she just didn't know what to do and we kind of went back through old emails and old recruitment stuff and there were a couple of opportunities for her to do another D one, another division one, possibly a walk on somewhere. There were a couple of offers out there, but we had been contacted. She had been contacted by University of Wisconsin, la Crosse's coach D three school and it was just a really kind. It was the only D three email that she had gotten, where they had followed up with her and said, hey, if anything changes, you know, come see us and we're like hey, maybe we should go for a car trip.

Frank: 19:24

And I'm like. I know La Crosse. It's God's country up there, it's beautiful. I grew up 30 minutes from La Crosse. Oh my gosh.

Israel: 19:31

Until I was 10, yeah, oh, wow, you know it's so beautiful and I told my ass.

Frank: 19:35

At the very least, we get a nice weekend out of it. It's gorgeous up there. You're gonna, you're gonna enjoy it, and so we did. She agreed to go up and take a look. Just take a look.

Cyndi: 19:46

Begrudgingly again and she sat in the back seat of the car with her headphones on, kind of with a skull on her face the entire drive. And we got up there and we met with the coach, the head coach, kc Crawford and within about 10 minutes the shells started to break away and she started to soften and by the end of the visit, you know, we went to lunch afterwards and she looked at us and she goes. This is it, she goes. This is the first time since everything happened with UIC that I felt wanted.

Cyndi: 20:16

And she goes this is my home and yeah, that was she said right there.

Frank: 20:21

She's like I'm in, I'm in, and you know we were a little taken back.

Cyndi: 20:27

Is that?

Frank: 20:27

that it's like well, I didn't think this was gonna go that well, right, she went to an athletic scholarship. Yeah well, there was an athletic scholarship, but that our hope was just that she would.

Frank: 20:39

She would find a home, that she would be happy at and you know, we knew we weren't under any you know idea that she was gonna be an Olympic gymnast or anything. We just gymnastics was a means to getting her a good education and happiness and find her way. She didn't wanna give up yet gymnastics, so she wanted to keep doing it and this was a spot she could do it. And if she went to a division one school she might have been a specialist where she'd only be doing one event. Up there. She was gonna be an all around gymnast. They said you're gonna compete every event. You'll be like our superstar. It's not very often that a division one gymnast drops in our lap.

Frank: 21:13

So we're like really happy to have you and she was happy to be there. And I remember there was one and on the tour of the campus that time I knew that this coach was right for her. Not only did the coach do all the research and learn about what her skills were and how she can improve her, and but I remember it was up there, it was the weekend where the Packers were playing the Vikings and UW La Crosse. Like half of the students are Vikings fans, half of the students are Packer fans, and so she was like. The coach says well wait, you're from Chicago, are you a Bears fan? She says I'm a Steelers fan.

Frank: 21:53

And I remember a coach going, you're gonna be okay here.

Israel: 21:59

Wow, that's funny.

Frank: 22:00

But yeah, we loved La Crosse. She loved La Crosse. They had it in like a rec center but they had just completed a year or two earlier. They're like you can rent mountain bikes, you can rent kayaks, and she was our outdoors girl. She loved being outside and she saw that her eyes lit up. She's like you know, so like if I'm born on like a Saturday, I could just go rent a kayak.

Cyndi: 22:25

Yeah, and it's amazing that you know competitive gymnast, totally our outdoors girl, and she had asthma her entire life. She was diagnosed at the age of 18 months old, predominantly environmentally triggered.

Israel: 22:41

obviously not let it go, obviously not exercise triggered, but environmentally triggered With all the exercise that never bothered it All the gym.

Cyndi: 22:51

It didn't help it but it didn't Well. The chalk dust, the chalk dust definitely got there, yeah.

Frank: 22:55

And we called her the chalk monster because she would come out of practice and she would be covered in chalk. And we'd look at all the other kids coming out and none of them would be covered in chalk and we're like, how do you?

Cyndi: 23:05

manage this, she got chalk.

Frank: 23:08

I just I like the chalk. Okay, good for you.

Cyndi: 23:10

But she just never let asthma stop her and we never let it stop her.

Israel: 23:14

So yeah, so you left or you visited UW La Crosse? Was there a commitment then at that point that she was gonna go there?

Frank: 23:22

Yep and being a D3 school, you don't sign, you don't have like a signing ceremony and you sign your letter of intent or anything. It's just it's like a verbal commitment and they don't have a big ceremony and everything. But I've gotta say, jim Kinetics, they wanted to make a big deal out of it because they're like you know what, you earned a division, one scholarship, and you chose to go D3 and we're gonna have a signing ceremony and it was just so nice they had in the lobby they set up a table, jim went out to the or ordered from the bookstore at UWL a giant Eagles flag and a University of Wisconsin let's cross sweatshirts or shirts. They had on that day him and Wendy, and they had bottles of like grape juice out like a champagne toast and they brought all the kids from the gym out to applaud.

Cyndi: 24:17

And just to talk about the family orientation, they did it in January because Sam was at going to school at NYU and so she was in New York City at the time and so they wanted to make sure Sam was gonna be there for her too. And so they checked with us and they're like, when is Sam gonna be home for the holidays? And so they held the ceremony while Sam was in from New York for January. Yeah.

Israel: 24:43

Wow, so this is so. Now we got to January of her senior year. Where do we go from there?

Frank: 24:53

Well, I'm gonna back up just a little bit because we are. We're in that group where both of our kids started their high school career at North and moved to East.

Israel: 25:06

Oh sure.

Frank: 25:07

When North closed and we were probably we're with that group of parents who were very upset that North closed and we thought it was gonna be the end of the world and, oh my goodness, our kids are never gonna succeed because of this and they're gonna be stunted for life and I'm sure there were kids that went through that. But I have to say our experience in the transition was phenomenal with North to Ethan, sam was the heir apparent in the theatrical program at North. She was gonna get the lead in the senior musical and there was no doubt about it. And then the move to East. Oh, she's probably not gonna get the lead, ended up getting the lead but oh, it's gonna be a horrible experience. She had an amazing transition, amazing. Well, it would have been her junior and senior year. Maddie had her sophomore, junior and senior year at East and we couldn't have been happier at East. So, maddie, on that senior year she was gearing up for the whole your grand finale the prom, the graduation and all that.

Israel: 26:24

And tell me again when was the transition? What year were the girls when North closed?

Cyndi: 26:31

So Sam graduated. They were 2015, 16,. It would have been the year that they transitioned, cause Sam graduated in 2018. So she spent 2016, 17 and 2017, 18 at East, and so I assume so Maddie would drive her and two of her teammates to the gym from Linkaway East every day after school. So everything's going along where she's committed to UWL. We've had the signing ceremony and then March, one day before she's supposed to finally go visit her sister in New York for the first time we were gonna let her fly out there on her own by herself, spend the weekend with Sam.

Frank: 27:16

And I remember it was Easter break, it was the Thursday, the start of March Madness, because normally I take that day off and stay home and watch the opening or work from home and watch the opening round of the NCAA basketball tournament. So I remember it was a Thursday and it was a Thursday of March Madness, right and the girls were.

Cyndi: 27:38

Maddie was gonna be on spring break the following week, so that's why we were gonna let her go out to New York City. It's about three o'clock in the afternoon and we get a phone call and some woman I never had found out who she was. On the other end of the phone it says I'm here, your daughter has been in a horrible accident. You need to get here right away. And I'm like, okay, where's here? And she said I'm at the corner of St Francis and LaGrange. And I said I'll be right there. I hung up the phone, I yelled to Frank, I said Maddie's been in a car accident. St Francis and LaGrange meet me there. And I'm out the door and gone and I pull up and they've got the street closed off. There's fire trucks everywhere and I see her car and it is just totaled.

Frank: 28:27

It rolled three times it rolled three times. And landed on the grass in front of.

Israel: 28:34

So she's heading north on 45.

Cyndi: 28:36

45.

Israel: 28:38

And so just after would have been just before the intersection.

Frank: 28:42

She was going through the intersection and the person going through and it was one of those like it's a yellow light, and so she's halfway through and this girl turned into her and spun her and she slid into the curb and then the car rolled and landed on top of the lawn in front of that. I think it's a Jimmy Johns or something, something right there, right.

Cyndi: 29:05

And so I just park in the middle of St Francis' room and get out of my car and one of the kind Frankfurt fireman must have you seen the panic on my face. And he looked at me and said mom, and I'm like, yes, and he said come with me, come with me. He said everything's fine and I'm thinking how can everything be fine? And I'm looking at this scene. And he took me over to the ambulance and all three girls were sitting in the ambulance sitting up bumps and bruises and scratches, but they were all okay, which was-.

Israel: 29:36

Wow, what was their reaction when they-.

Cyndi: 29:37

They were in shock. Yeah, they were in shock, and I think-.

Frank: 29:40

And I think I said I'm glad they're gymnasts, they learned how to roll Right, because I mean, from what Maddie told us afterwards and the other girls told us, is it happened so fast that they just went with what happened and then when they I shouldn't say came too, but when they realized they were, you know, stopped, stopped, they kicked out the back window to get out, because they didn't know how, because the doors were jammed, and so they got out. All three of them got out and they were standing on the side of LaGrange. So when the cops in the fire department showed up they were saying it's so bad that they were looking for where they were ejected and they thought these three kids not standing on the side of the road saw it. They're like no, we were the ones in there.

Cyndi: 30:35

Yeah, they couldn't believe it. Yeah, wow, somebody was watching over you Right.

Israel: 30:40

It's amazing.

Frank: 30:42

It really was amazing and yeah it obviously it shook them up Because when I got there I went in the fire, one of the firemen grabbed me and said, rush me over the ambulance. And I just peeked my head in and they were just staring straight ahead. All three of the kids were sitting there staring, like they were still trying to wrap their head around what just happened.

Cyndi: 31:06

And but any injuries, any Nothing serious, no Bumps and bruises and scratches and Maddie at the least of any of them.

Frank: 31:14

The other two girls had some, I think, scratches and bruises.

Cyndi: 31:18

Some cuts. They all ended up competing regionals like two weeks later.

Israel: 31:22

That's amazing.

Frank: 31:24

And we have no idea who this woman was that called us. But she said but Maddie said she grabbed her phone and said dial your mom. And she dialed sending in.

Israel: 31:34

That's how she. What a scary phone call.

Frank: 31:37

Terrifying.

Israel: 31:38

Yeah.

Frank: 31:39

Wow, and so we? That actually we say all the time. That's how Maddie really Well, she brought up to us. She had a conversation with us about how important organ donation was to her. Where did that come from, do?

Frank: 31:55

you know, we think it was. She was just spooked Like she was just freaked out because of what happened and she was laying in her bedroom and she's going through in her head what if this didn't? What if this didn't happen as good? What if the outcome was different? Maddie was always we always said she had a servant's heart. She was the type of kid that she just If anybody needed help, she wouldn't help Whether she knew what she was doing or not. She'd still try to help, you know, and she volunteered. She was an adaptive PE leader at Lincoln Way East with Special Needs Kids her whole career.

Cyndi: 32:32

Sam would say she followed her into that. Sam was an adaptive PE leader too. Say our family is leaders and followers.

Israel: 32:38

Yeah, I'm seeing a pattern here.

Frank: 32:41

But yeah, she volunteered with the Special Needs Kids at the gym for birthday parties to help. Whenever there was a Special Needs Kid part of a birthday party, she would help there or help with the coaching. She was just that kind of kid and so I think she was just thinking to herself like how could this, if this didn't go good, how could I still help people? And yeah, that's when she came into the living room and she said oh, I think also is Cindy's nephew had a liver transplant a few years earlier and so we talked a lot about it around the kitchen table and they didn't interject much the kids.

Frank: 33:20

But they hear and they were listening and they heard us talking about you know, lucky Evan was to have to get technically got two livers before he was two, and you know, and how lucky he was, and the donor families and blah, blah, blah and we. So we talked a lot about that. So I think that also weighed on her mind. And she came in and I don't even remember what we were doing, we were watching TV, probably and she walked in and she said, hey, I got to talk to you. Okay, that was the other thing. She was just a barge right in and I got to talk to you. Okay, well, what she goes? You know, that car accident made me think that if this, something like that, would ever happen again and things didn't work out as well, I want something good to come from something bad. So I want to be an organ donor and I was like, no, we are not having this conversation. We don't talk about death, we don't talk. It's morbid.

Israel: 34:20

Nope. Did you think it was like a fear thing on her part, or what was? Why do you think you had the reaction?

Frank: 34:25

I didn't know, but I didn't want to have anything to do with it. I was like so uncomfortable and I think in hindsight.

Cyndi: 34:32

So she got her driver's license right before Illinois passed the Drive for Life Act, so she wasn't asked when she turned 16 if she wanted to be an organ donor on her license and she knew she was turning 18.

Israel: 34:44

I'm sorry, can you just tell I don't fully know what that was, sure so the Drive for Life Act was passed in the state of Illinois.

Cyndi: 34:51

It was enacted in January of 2018. And basically what it did was is it opened up the ability for 16 and 17 year olds to register on Illinois organ donor registry. So, instead of waiting until they were 18 to be asked if they wanted to register to be a donor on their driver's license, they're now being asked at 16 years old. But until they turn 18, parental consent is still required in order for them to be a donor.

Israel: 35:21

Okay.

Cyndi: 35:22

So she just missed that. So, she was not a registered donor on her driver's license.

Frank: 35:29

So it was an uncomfortable conversation to have and then it was only a few minutes. I mean, it was short, but I was, we were uncomfortable and she was that type of kid and she's like no, you have to listen to me. And I we did the. Yeah, okay, we understand. Check, we hear you, we're never gonna have to worry about it, but thanks for telling us.

Cyndi: 35:50

Yeah.

Frank: 35:51

And.

Cyndi: 35:52

Little did we know.

Frank: 35:53

Yeah.

Israel: 35:54

But at that time it didn't really affect you guys, you weren't jumping out. I mean, maybe you were already. I mean, did you even know a few organ donors at the time.

Frank: 36:01

Oh yeah, yeah, we were, but it wasn't something we you know, it was something on our driver's license that we never really gave a second thought to, right, and we're glad that she mentioned it at the time. We're like, okay, well, that's good to know. But, like, like I said, it was a short conversation and yeah. But then she went on. After that she had a wonderful prom and wonderful end to her senior year graduation. She was ecstatic and you know Sam was in for it and yeah.

Cyndi: 36:39

Yeah, and Sam was one year ahead. She won your head One year ahead.

Israel: 36:45

Yeah, she had spent her first year.

Cyndi: 36:46

Just finished up her freshman year at NYU. All right. Then came home for the summer and Maddie went to graduated, went to gymnastics camp for a week up at UWL, got to know her teammates, got to know her coaches. Came home ready to start college that day, if she could.

Israel: 37:07

She, like she just stayed here, Really took to it. She liked it. She said can I just stay here. Yeah.

Frank: 37:11

But she had to come home and have a graduation party, so yeah, I remember her texting us from from UWL saying you know what? Can I just stay here?

Israel: 37:21

Yeah, no, Not yet soon.

Cyndi: 37:25

Not yet soon and yeah, and so you know. Sam always says Maddie checked off so much in that last few months she did. Really she did a lot of stuff, yeah.

Israel: 37:38

Like any examples or anything that sticks out Her graduation party, for example.

Cyndi: 37:41

it was the first time our entire Frank's entire family had been all together Really In years.

Israel: 37:47

Wow.

Cyndi: 37:49

All that, there was a wedding in the family, and so everybody just happened to be home that weekend, so we we planned Maddie's graduation party around that.

Frank: 37:57

And we got the big giant family photo, you know. Yeah, and she got to be in the middle of the photo because she was there, that's what she always did.

Cyndi: 38:05

And she got to spend a week at her college, you know, and she got to live in the dorms and meet her teammates and, yeah, she, just she did a lot, yeah obviously the whole graduation and prom.

Frank: 38:15

She had a blast at prom and, yeah, she was.

Israel: 38:18

How about her and Sam? Anything they did special together during that summer she got to go to New York we, even though she had that horrible car accident.

Cyndi: 38:27

he argued with me. He was like this is not a good idea and I said you know what it's the best thing for? Let her get her mind off the accident.

Israel: 38:34

Yeah, she went to New York City with her sister that weekend and it's probably a good connection for them. It was.

Cyndi: 38:39

It was the, you know they got to. They got to be in New York City by themselves.

Israel: 38:45

What were you guys thinking? I know, I know exactly.

Cyndi: 38:49

At 17 and 19 years old, go figure.

Frank: 38:53

Now Sam is very mature and very responsible, so that there's another difference between the two of them. Yeah, Okay, so we have the graduation party and the graduation party and then right after the graduation party. The graduation party was a week before her 18th birthday, so was it a week Week about a?

Frank: 39:23

week before, week before, yeah, maybe, and I had gone out of town on a business trip and I came home that Wednesday, which would have been three days before her birthday, and I just remember I came home and it was like mass chaos at the house.

Frank: 39:44

Cindy was running doing something for work and Sam was going somewhere and Maddie was going to a concert that night with one of her teammates and a couple of friends and a parent, and they were going to see Shawn Mendes at the Allstate Arena and it was one of those where I remember coming home and it was our paths crossed and she said I'm going, we're going early because we're stopping for dinner and see you later. Love you Bye. And then we Sam had some homework or something and then we sat we were actually it was a nice quiet evening and then we got a call it's about eight o'clock at night from the mom who was kind of like the chaperone of this group and all she said was that Maddie passed out at the concert and she said you should come up here. And so we were like, okay, I mean probably.

Cyndi: 40:47

And just so we don't sound like horrible parents to have such a reaction like that. But this was not the first time that Maddie had had a bad asthma attack and her eighth grade trip to great America she ended up in the hospital because she had a really bad asthma attack and they couldn't get it under control.

Israel: 41:03

So so no way the expectation is of anything but just kind of an incident.

Cyndi: 41:07

No, at this point, it's just she had a bad asthma attack. She's got to go into the hospital, get a couple of albuterol treatments and she'll be fine.

Frank: 41:16

The mom said she's with the paramedics right now. So we're like, well, okay, she's been there being cared for, that's good. So we hop in the car and we start to drive up there to Rosemont because they were at the. Rosemont, the Allstate Arena.

Cyndi: 41:30

And for some reason I'm, we're in the car and it's been 20, 25 minutes and I said this is really odd that I haven't gotten a call from the paramedics, because when this has happened before, you know, usually somebody has contacted us and said you know, everything's okay, we're heading to this hospital, whatever. And so I called for Linda back and I said you know, have you heard anything? What's going on? And she goes I don't know, but it looks really bad. You should call the hospital, okay. So I call the hospital, which was resurrection hospital, and I get patched through right to the ER and whoever it was on the phone I don't know if it was a doctor or a nurse they're like you need to get up here, she's already coded twice.

Israel: 42:12

Oh my gosh.

Cyndi: 42:13

She coded in the AM they well, they found her unresponsive and she coded in the ambulance on the way there and she was coding again in the ER when we were calling.

Frank: 42:25

And so, needless to say, I found out how fast my car could go, because I just gung it and we just I don't think we remember how we got there.

Frank: 42:37

So we pull in and they're waiting for us and they rush us into this side room that was next to it was like a consultation room and there's, I remember there was a doctor, a nurse and a Rosemont cop that was that were that were there and they said when we found her she was unresponsive. She was clutching her asthma inhaler, she wasn't breathing, she was coded. We intubated her, we resuscitated her and then she crashed again when we were trying to get around the gurney and we did CPR and we got her here stable enough to get her here, and the doctors are like telling us this and then all of a sudden somebody comes in and said she's crashing again. So they go rushing in there. And then they, like the nurse, said there's another like ER, bang, er bang next to her. She goes, you can't go by her, but you can go in that bang next to her.

Frank: 43:42

And so we did, we went in there and you know, and then they, when she was stable, they said you could come in and they had put a chest tube in her and they rolled her over and when they rolled her over her eyes were open. I remember seeing that and I remember thinking to myself that's unusual. And I said to the doctor, I said you must have her pretty heavily sedated and the doctor I know he was being kind he just said no, there's no sedation. That's one tough girl, you got there and I remember thinking I don't care how tough you are, there's no way you're putting a chest tube in and with not flinching and no sedation. And so I think I knew, I think you knew at the time. We talked afterwards and said, yeah, I think that was the point we knew this was she wasn't there, something wasn't right here and we weren't going to admit that at that point, but I think we both knew in our hearts that this wasn't good.

Frank: 44:43

And that hospital. They were amazing too because the doctor said you know, we're a little bit over our heads here and he's like you know, right next town, over in Park Ridge, is Lutheran General Hospital. They have a pediatric intensive care unit. She's technically not 18 yet. She's got a couple more days. He said she's technically still a PEDES patient. We can medivac her over there and she'd get better care. And we're like do it, do it anything? And so they did. They got her stable, the helicopter came picked her up. We've gotten our car and drove over there. I think we'd be the helicopter, but yeah, so I mean they say what they have to do is close O'Hare's airspace whenever there's some medical.

Frank: 45:31

So it takes a little while because they got to take any plane that's in a holding pad or down before they could put the helicopter up, and then they got a clear shot. And so when we got there, you know they were pretty straightforward with us that this was really, really serious and that I mean I hate to make a joke out of it, but duh, I mean of course she's serious, we knew it was serious, but they're like no, this is like really bad, and so they were prepping us for what would happen.

Frank: 46:03

But it was a few hours, as much as you can prep, yeah a few hours later, I think, they came and said okay, we've got her stabilized, she's in a bed, she's on a ventilator, she's on life support, but she's, you know, you can go be with her. Go be with her.

Israel: 46:18

And do you think at that point it's a positive Somewhat? Are you thinking it's a positive improvement?

Cyndi: 46:25

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Frank: 46:27

Yeah, I hate.

Cyndi: 46:29

I think at that point.

Frank: 46:30

There's so many things that go through your head at that point. You want something positive.

Cyndi: 46:35

Right.

Frank: 46:36

Yeah, to hang your hat on yeah.

Cyndi: 46:39

And you're preparing yourself for you know, we're being told that there's probably brain damage, and so we're like okay, you know, we're in my head, we're preparing for that.

Frank: 46:52

And then you know we were in the room with her and the nurses are coming in and they're doing checks, like they're running something up her foot to see if there was any reflex, or they check her eyes and put the shine of light in there and we're like man, there's nothing, she's just laying there. You know you want to have hope, but then you see those kinds of things and they're trying not to tell you, but you know, we can figure it out.

Israel: 47:25

Right.

Cyndi: 47:26

At this point, I'm thinking coma.

Frank: 47:29

So the next morning, so that we got, we made it through the night and that morning I told Cindy. I said we have to call, we have to let the people at the gym know, we have to let. That's our family. That's, you know, Jim Kinetics, that's our family. So one of the moms who's a friend of ours.

Cyndi: 47:47

At this point we had Frank's sister, we had called Frank sisters, obviously, and his sister and brother in law actually drove out to our house picked up Sam.

Israel: 47:58

She was still home. She was home by herself.

Frank: 48:00

Cause we didn't think at the time it was serious. That serious so she's like I've got homework and it's like just she was taking a summer class, Stay here, Do your homework.

Cyndi: 48:08

She was taking a summer class at the university where I work. So Patty and Rich came in, picked Sam up and brought her home with them, so at least she wasn't alone, home alone at that point. Then we had to start contacting everybody else.

Frank: 48:21

So then we had to contact everybody else. So we we called our friend Deanna, who's a nurse and part of the Jim Kinetics family, and she's, and we said can you just we can't make all these calls, can you just let somebody know? Let let everybody know she's like okay, I will and I'm not kidding you. An hour later the nurse came into our room and she said you have a visitor. We said we have what, we have a visitor.

Cyndi: 48:45

How do we have a visitor at seven o'clock in?

Frank: 48:47

the morning we're in Park Ridge and in walk Jim Fredrickson and he walked in.

Frank: 48:55

he did a 180, turned around and then a minute later came back in. He just couldn't. He saw her. He just couldn't. He had the process that he went back out of the room, composed himself, came back in and he never left. He never left that hospital or our side until we went home. He wouldn't sleep in the room with us, he'd go sleep in the lobby of the hospital and when we'd wake up in the morning he would be there with a cup of coffee for each of us and a donut or something.

Cyndi: 49:28

He's Italian and he made sure we ate. You gotta eat you gotta eat.

Frank: 49:33

And yeah, he was there the whole time. Every time Maddie went to go down for a test, he'd tell. He'd tell us you sit, you have a cup of coffee. I'm gonna make sure she's not alone. She's never gonna be alone. Okay, and yeah. So the next day was her 18th birthday and we had planned on doing an 18th birthday party for her at the house. So we put the word out, because they had we kind of knew what was going At that point. They had told us this she's probably not gonna make it. And so we put the word out and said if you want to see her and you want to have a birthday party, we're having a birthday party here at the hospital. And next thing we knew there was had to be 30 or 40 gymnasts, girls and family coming in and out of that hospital.

Frank: 50:27

And I'm sure there were violations of so many different codes at that hospital. But they were just so compassionate and they just go. And every time I get a little loud, the nurse would just come in and go, okay, okay, and, and they were just the most amazing hospital, the most amazing.

Cyndi: 50:47

The nursing staff was incredible. We still we're still in touch with several of them.

Israel: 50:51

Wow.

Cyndi: 50:52

They kind of became family.

Israel: 50:53

I bet.

Frank: 50:54

So we celebrated her 18th birthday in the hospital. Halfway through her 18th birthday they did the first brain death test. So they did a. They go through this arduous testing and they allowed us to stay and watch it if we wanted and. But they warned us and we went and we stayed for it and it was.

Frank: 51:14

It was horrific, but it's basically. They have to see if she's going to breathe on her own. So they take her off the ventilator, they do different blood tests, they do different sensory tests, they squirt water into her eyes and it was just horrible. But they have to do that, we understand, to see if there's any brain activity, any brainstem activity and anything, any sign. They would not have done the test or a second test, but they didn't get any sign. So, being a Peds patient, they had to do a second test. So we won't go into the whole that whole story, but they did a second brain death test about 24 hours later and that's when she was declared brain dead. So there was no brainstem activity, there was no brain activity, and that's at. At that point is when Cindy and I basically said we need to talk to people about organ donation, cause that was a conversation we had several months ago, and that's what we want to do.

Israel: 52:13

That was in that moment.

Frank: 52:15

That was well, actually, I think Cindy remembered that conversation first and said you remember that conversation? And I said, oh my goodness, like, how did? How did that? Wow, yeah, that's what that came about and yeah, so we have to do this.

Frank: 52:33

And then they had mentioned to us that, like only one in every thousand people can actually that registered to be a donor 3,000, 3 in every thousand people who registered to be a donor can actually be a donor, because you have to die in a certain way and your organs have to be preserved and a oxygenated blood and all that, so you basically have to pretty much be on life support. And so they said, ah, shoot, there, looks pretty good. So, yeah, we'll introduce you to the organ donation people, which they did and, um, and a whole new journey began at that point.

Frank: 53:09

Yeah, that's when our yeah, it totally changed our lives. I mean, obviously the death changed our lives. There's no, I mean, I mean it's hard to even fathom, but yeah, but the actual organ donation let's call it peace to that puzzle changed our lives as well, because we realized that what was Maddie's passion had to become our passion.

Israel: 53:35

So it's kind of a way to carry on.

Frank: 53:39

Well it all started really because I wanted to be able to just talk about Maddie again. You know that she was gone and I wanted as many opportunities as I could to talk about Maddie. Any day I could talk about Maddie is a good day, and so that was always the. That's how the whole thing got started. But we also found the hope and don't that donation gives you in that.

Israel: 54:02

What was can? Can you guys talk a little bit about like what your some of your process was to deal with it, what Sam's like, how Sam struggled with you know like as a parent you can't even imagine how you deal with that.

Cyndi: 54:21

You know, for about the first year I think we were pretty much numb, even though we had started the foundation and everything else. It was, um, in those moments in the hospital it was. It's going to sound weird, but the day we left that morning we left the hospital after Maddie had her her donation surgery. We said it felt weird. You know, we had kind of made a home there. You know we were with her. She was still with us. Um, you know, we we had a flag. They do a flag raising ceremony at the hospitals. Whenever there's a donor they raise a gift of hope.

Cyndi: 54:56

Organ donation flag to indicate that there's a donor and waiting at the hospital and Jim, of course, put the word out and we had what probably about a hundred gymnasts there for that Amazing. I remember we walked, the pediatric ICU was on the second floor and you walked out and they overlooked. There was like this little walkway that overlooked the front entrance to the hospital. Sam and I came out of the pediatric ICU and we heard this din of young gymnasts and Sam and I both went back into the door and we're like, okay, deep breaths.

Cyndi: 55:28

You know we had to kind of prepare ourselves to go out into that, but there were just all of these things that we did, that we got to honor Maddie and you know we've met a lot of parents who have lost children, who didn't get to do all those things because we had that extra time with her while she was on life support, Waiting to be a donor, and so you know we were very blessed to have that extra time and a lot of people think that that wouldn't be. You know that would be hard, but for us I think it was some of not the best moment of our life, but it was good. It was good to be there with her.

Israel: 56:07

Provide. Anything was like a closure. I mean, I don't know if you call it closure or an acceptance or I think acceptance is the right word.

Cyndi: 56:15

you know it gave us. It gave us that time to kind of process the the tragedy that had hit us, and start to say we had time to say goodbye and, with her still there, and we had the opportunity to to hug her one more time and hold her one more time and do all of these things with her. Remember my brother and law, when we, when we gathered everybody around to tell them what was happening, he just broke down and I just said baby steps. And that was kind of our still is our mantra right Even to this day. Whenever things get hard, we just go baby steps. You know you. Just when people ask, you know you have really two choices every morning. You can either curl up in bed in a fetal position and just say I'm done, I'm not facing anything today, there, you get out of bed and you take a deep breath and you decide, okay, how am I going to move forward today? What is, what is today's purpose going to be?

Frank: 57:20

Yeah, so Maddie's organs saved three lives and her. So her heart and her liver went to one recipient, a woman in her thirties, her kid, their kidney. One kidney went to a woman in her seventies and one kidney went to a woman in her twenties. And her corneas went to two different people, one of which I'm so proud of. Maddie gave sight to a little two year old child in Michigan and her tissue donations skin bone have gone as far away as Seoul, south Korea Unbelievable.

Israel: 58:03

And so how do you I mean I assume they're tracking they let you know all this?

Frank: 58:10

Yeah, the organ procurement organization, gift of Hope. In our cases Gift of Hope. There's 57 of them around the country, but in our territory it's Gift of Hope. They were amazing.

Israel: 58:21

Is there ever any connection or any interaction between the there?

Cyndi: 58:25

can be. Yeah, it's rarer than you think. Okay, yeah, and we can. You had asked about Sam.

Israel: 58:31

Yeah.

Cyndi: 58:32

It's too far out side of the story. This all happened at the end of June. Sam went back to school. In August she went back to New York City, it went back to NYU and that was her decision. You know, we we gave her the option. But she not only went back to NYU, she was in their musical theater program and their sophomore project in that program was to put together a benefit concert as a class, and so we had just started the Mad Dog Strong Foundation, and so in December of that year, sam and her class at NYU put together a benefit concert to benefit Mad Dog Strong. Wow, yeah.

Israel: 59:14

Which was was amazing, and then what? Was that? Can you talk it all about? Were you guys there? Yeah, we went out there for it.

Cyndi: 59:22

It was called Heart to Heart. They got the hall. Um, they actually did two shows. They did an afternoon show and an evening show. Each student either did a solo cover song or they did small group cover songs. Sam did, um, she dedicated Angel from Montgomery.

Frank: 59:41

She dedicated to her sister.

Cyndi: 59:44

Who always has the best seat in the house, as Sam says and they raised 3000, almost $3,000 for Mad Dog Strong From that from that benefit concert.

Frank: 59:55

And the thing that I was happiest about is we got a chance to speak at the end and do our little pitch for organ donation.

Frank: 1:00:02

And I do an exercise at the end of every time we do give a speech and I basically tell people to picture the person they love the most in this world. And, god forbid, they were in a about to lose their life and the only thing that was going to save their life was a donated organ transplant. And by the, by the grace of God, the surgeon comes in and says we've got this organ and it's a perfect match, but you have to let us know, would you accept it? And so I asked all of them would you accept it? I said, because we've done a lot of these speeches and I've yet to meet anybody who says no, I wouldn't accept it. So I say to you, if you're willing to accept it, you damn well, better be willing to give it so and that's. And so I think we registered a bunch of people that night and so that to me, beyond the money, was the most I mean absolutely for me.

Israel: 1:00:58

we changed hearts and minds, so talk a little bit about the foundation and obviously you're you want to raise awareness for giving, being an organ donor. What does that involve and what are you guys doing? What's you know what goes into that?

Cyndi: 1:01:18

So I think one of the most interesting statistics that we've learned is that roughly about 96% of Americans have a favorable opinion of organ and tissue donation, but less than 60% are registered. So there's a disconnect somewhere. You know people. People think it's a good thing, but it's a good thing for somebody else to do and not necessarily them.

Cyndi: 1:01:37

And you know we we learned from our experience with Maddie having the conversation with us that that's an important piece to this puzzle and we really believe that that young people are going to be able to change this space, they're going to be able to make the difference. But in order to do that they have to know the facts, they have to understand and be educated about donations so that they don't buy into the myths and the misconceptions. And once, once we treat them like adults and we educate them like adults, then they're gonna become an adult son adults and Make it the right, informed decision and have that conversation with their loved ones and that's sort of become the mission of our organization in your story.

Israel: 1:02:24

You know, our manny's story really says that it's not just for adults, it's not for people when you get down the line to figure out.

Frank: 1:02:30

It's like right away.

Israel: 1:02:31

You know it's yeah, and we've.

Frank: 1:02:34

You know we've learned a lot over the past. Well, we're going almost five years now and we've learned so much about this space and about all the people that are in this organ donation field and transplantation field and recipients and donor families and the science behind it and everything. And we just keep coming back to the fact that you know where Everybody else in this space thinks that the registration is when things end like, okay, that's the goal, we've got them to register To us. That's just the start of the process. Getting them to register is the easy part.

Frank: 1:03:12

In my opinion, the hard part is getting them then to have a conversation and remove that taboo that we can't talk about it like me. Oh, it's morbid, we don't talk about that stuff. No, we need to be able to talk about that stuff. We need to be able to have these conversations. Don't just check the box, have the conversation. And so that's why we're focused on the education side and making sure people can have that conversation. Don't just register. It's great to get you to register and happy, but you're never gonna advocate it. You're the. The registration is just something you can change now, like we can get them something to do now. I want to see this change. The we're in the future, there's no question. It's like you know, I have to ask somebody, are you a registered donor? Because they're like, of course I'm a registered donor. I mean, isn't everybody?

Israel: 1:03:58

What kind of objections do you? Do you ever hear objections to people a lot?

Cyndi: 1:04:03

Religion is a big one. A lot of people are under the misconception that that their religion does not allow for donation either. That's, there's a problem with the burial, you know there, but every major religion views organ donation as your last act of charity.

Israel: 1:04:21

And you're both very involved in part of St Mary's and obviously they're big supporters of what you guys are amazing.

Frank: 1:04:28

They are amazing. Father dindo came to us and and asked us if we would do an altar call one Sunday this was two years ago and then considered doing a registration table in the narthex after masses and we said, of course we put. So we went and I gave the altar call after every mass, gave a little, just a little short, you know comment about Organ donation. And then I said the reason I know so much about organ donations, because you know we're donor parents and I tell a little Amati story and then we man the table afterwards. That Was the single largest registration event we have ever done in our five years of doing this and it's because there are so many people that came to that table and said I always thought Catholics couldn't be donors, right really absolutely right.

Frank: 1:05:22

And, and they said, when you even said what the last three popes have said, it really Rang true that I should be doing this. And then, you know, we had a lot of people that say but I'm older and you know, I'm probably too old to be an organ donor and I say another one and I'd say did you know that the oldest organ donation donate Donor was 96 years old, wow. And the oldest tissue donor was a hundred and seven years old.

Israel: 1:05:52

Does anything change?

Frank: 1:05:53

and I tell my whole theory is the doctors know far more than you or I do.

Frank: 1:05:59

Sign up and let them figure it out when it's time. If they can use anything, let them use it, so that, I mean, we are just so blessed. St Mary has been so wonderful. We actually it inspired us To create something we called the Coda Crusade Catholic organ donation advocacy crusade and so we're putting it together now a 60 to 90 minute seminar that could be done at parishes all across the country. Wow, and we're. We want to inform Catholics because we're Catholics. We know that, you know and we did. That's the reason we picked that religion over any other religion. But we know the faith and we know what the catechism of the church says, and so we're gonna roll that out in 2024.

Israel: 1:06:47

So that's awesome. Yeah, where else do you guys speak? I know I got to meet you guys through the Lions Club and you came and gave your presentation there, as we have a couple of members who are very touched by organ donations, but where else are you guys speaking or sharing your message?

Cyndi: 1:07:04

Where we get invited. But I think we, for example, our neighbors, do ghouls on Glasgow and so they do a big Halloween Seen, a big Halloween space every, every year, and for the past two years They've raised money for Mad Dog. And so this year they approached us and said, hey, do you want to do the trunker treat in downtown Frankfurt? We're like, okay, sure, why not? And people ask us, why are you at a Halloween trunker treat Talking about organ donation? It's like, well, because nobody else is Right, very true, yeah.

Frank: 1:07:40

If our mission is to remove the taboo and say you can talk about organ donation anywhere, Well, we're living proof of that right.

Cyndi: 1:07:48

Health fair. It doesn't, you know. It doesn't have to be At a hospital, it can be anywhere. And so we, we speak at universities. We speak a lot to future healthcare leaders, both nursing and Pre-med. Anytime we get an opportunity to do that, we speak at high schools, community organizations, you know like. I said wherever we, wherever we can get invited. We're happy to come and Share our story with anyone.

Israel: 1:08:16

That's awesome. How about can you share, maybe think of any of the what you call, maybe your victories or things that Experiences with Mad Dog strong, that you've looked back and be like this is really you know representing or what we want to do?

Frank: 1:08:31

Well, there what? I'll give you an example, and I technically wasn't a mad dog and a strong foundation initiative, but it was a personal initiative of mine. Maddie was my hunting buddy, so Maddie and I went hunting together, fish together, and Maddie was a better shot than he was good.

Frank: 1:08:54

And a friend asked me, said I don't know who taught her how to shoot, but I know who didn't teach her how to shoot. So so it was a personal mission of mine that I wanted to the. Where most people registered to be organ donors is when they get their driver's license. At the DMV, now you were. Most people renew their driver's license every four years. People renew their hunting license and fishing license every year, so I viewed it as here's a way for us to ask that Question do you want to be an organ donor Three more times? Because you're gonna renew your fishing license every year. Every year, I want to be able to ask you well, hey, since you're getting your fishing license, would you want to register to be an organ donor while you're here and so?

Cyndi: 1:09:40

we were inspired by Logan's law. There's a yes, yes.

Frank: 1:09:44

There's another law called Logan's law that started in Iowa that they they did that in Iowa and that inspired me to do this here in Illinois. So I Reached out to Tim Ozinga, Mokena local, my local representative. So I reached out to to representative Ozinga's office and I pitched the idea and they called me back and said that you know, representative Ozinga would like to talk to you. So I said okay. So he called me and he goes on. I want to do this, I want to tell me more, and so I I filled them the whole all about organ donation. I brought them up to speed, you know, and he said let's, let's, let's do this, let's, let's float it out as a bill on the house floor and let's see what happens. And he called me and said it's, it's gaining momentum. And I said, oh, great. And then he called me a few weeks later and said the votes next week. I think we're gonna get a unanimous vote Wow, you know, by partisan the House, republicans, the House.

Israel: 1:10:51

Democrats are all in favor of this.

Frank: 1:10:53

That doesn't happen very often, I know.

Israel: 1:10:58

I know.

Frank: 1:11:02

Yeah, and there were two other, and so then it passed the house and it went to the Senate and it got Cosponsored in the Senate by Christopher belt, senator belt, he's from downstate. He's also a kidney transplant recipient, wow. And so he got behind it and pushed mad dog's law through and I'm happy to report that this past January, every time you get your hunting and fishing license now, at the end of the application they ask would you like to be redirected to the Secretary of States organ donation program and sign up.

Israel: 1:11:40

That's amazing so.

Frank: 1:11:43

I couldn't have done it without you know a lot of help, but especially Representative Ozinga Well it just takes somebody, somebody pushing the effort to start it right. Yeah, I, you know, I. I'm just glad it's happening and I can't imagine how many people are, how many lives could get saved by.

Israel: 1:11:59

Yeah, this, is it too early to know, like if people have signed up from it, or oh, I'm sure they have.

Frank: 1:12:07

I don't have statistics yet, though I'm hoping that after the first year they'll compile those and let me know. It's the Secretary of State's office. I don't know if they can separate in their system.

Israel: 1:12:19

Where they come from, where they come from, where they got redirected from, but I'm hoping they can how? How about the? Has the Secretary of State's office been cooperative with you guys? Do you work with them? And absolutely.

Frank: 1:12:31

Yes, yeah, well, the former Secretary Jesse. Why a huge advocate for donation? He's he's had some family Contact with donation and so he was a huge, huge advocate. And the the person who runs. I honestly don't know what Dan's title is.

Frank: 1:12:52

I say he runs the Chicago office for this Organ donor program. I don't know if he technically does or not, but he is An amazing guy. I mean, this guy is out there every single day, weekends, he's at health fairs, he's everywhere. Anywhere he goes, he'll talk about donation. And he lost his Fiancé who was waiting for a kidney. Oh wow, she worked as the organ donor advocate for the Secretary of State before him and when she passed, secretary white called him in and said Dan, I know I Can't think of anybody better than take over Vicki's Mission. And he did, then you and he did, and he's been there a lot of years and he's a fantastic guy and does so much for donation.

Israel: 1:13:38

What a great advocate.

Cyndi: 1:13:39

Yeah, that experience he came to our first miles for our inaugural miles for Mad Dog race and he he walked the race carrying this giant donate life flag which became the inspiration for the next year. We started a flag parade, started the race, so Dan was the inspiration for our, for our flag parade at the start of every miles for Mad Dog.

Israel: 1:14:01

Talk a little bit about about that the miles for Mad Dog. How'd that come along? How long have you guys been doing that?

Cyndi: 1:14:07

So we had intended on having our inaugural race in 2020.

Israel: 1:14:13

What happened?

Cyndi: 1:14:18

The first socially distance 5k. Yeah it, it obviously did not happen, but we were able to run our inaugural race in 2021. So this has been three years now. We've had three races. So we do, that's our, it's our biggest event of the year and where do you do the race we? Do the race and in Frankfurt, in conjunction with Frankfurt Square Park District, they have been an Absolutely amazing partner with us.

Cyndi: 1:14:42

It starts and ends at the Lincoln Way North football stadium, which is great, fitting and it runs through Frankfurt Square Park District and it attracts both runners because it's a timed and sanctioned race, and and then, of course, the the community and the donation Transplantation community. So I think last year, between participants and volunteers we had over 500 people. Wow at our third, at our third event. So we're very proud of that.

Cyndi: 1:15:06

Yeah and Frankfurt Square Park District has just been amazing. Not only do they partner with us on miles for Mad Dog, but they also donated to us a tree grove in Frankfurt Square Park District that we call giving tree park. So every year, the night before miles for Mad Dog, we dedicate a Tree to the previous year's organ and tissue donors.

Israel: 1:15:29

Wow, and where is that at? Where could people so?

Cyndi: 1:15:31

it's sort of at the corner of Benton Drive and Frankfurt Square Road. You have to go just a little bit north of Benton on Frankfurt Square Road and it's right in the entrance to Island Prairie Park in Frankfurt Square Park District.

Israel: 1:15:44

And I saw you have a couple videos or at least from this year on you on your website. Yes from those Dedications?

Frank: 1:15:52

Yes, yeah, and that's the giving trees. I drive by it every day on the way to the office and it's so heartwarming when I drive past and I see somebody walking the park and looking and reading the inscription on the plaques by the trees and I was like, okay, so either they they knew about it and you know they're honoring a loved one, or maybe they're just learning about organ donation.

Israel: 1:16:18

And what are the plaques on the trees say?

Frank: 1:16:20

every plaque has a different quote from somebody else about. Charitable giving charitable giving yeah.

Cyndi: 1:16:31

So, basically, what we did is, because we couldn't hold our first miles for Mad Dog race, we dedicated four trees that year. So the first standalone tree is the 2019 tree that we dedicated, but then we also have one tree dedicated to all organ donors organ and tissue donors pre 2000, one tree dedicated to all organ and tissue donors from 2001 to 2009, and then one dedicated to all organ and tissue donors from 2010 to 2018. So we've made sure that every, every organ and tissue donor has been honored in that park.

Frank: 1:17:01

That's great. And we take some of the proceeds from the race and we buy a tree and donate it to the Frankfurt Square Park District to put somewhere in the park, somewhere. It doesn't have to be Island Prairie Park, but it could be any of the parks around. We just want to make sure it's sustainable, so that let's say, every tree we quote-unquote take for a dedicated tree, we donate a tree back to the park district. Oh, that's great, they're amazing. They have, they have supported us. We joke that Our kids fingerprints are literally all over that park district prom pictures and everything you know. We Bite paths and and now we get a chance to, you know, to bring people to the park district and show them what Maddie did.

Frank: 1:17:49

And there's a bench there dedicated to Maddie and it just says nice and we wanted just a simple inscription that says sit a while and smile.

Israel: 1:17:59

How'd you come up with that?

Frank: 1:18:01

It's just that's. I just came to us. We just like that's what she would have wanted. She just wants you to sit there and smile, just enjoy life. Because that kid there there are, and I'm sure everybody knows one of these type of people that just lights up a room. They've got that charisma. They're funny, they're witty, they're a little goofy.

Israel: 1:18:20

And they just, they're loud and they just light up a room and they're just full of life.

Frank: 1:18:25

That was maddie, and so that's what you just like.

Israel: 1:18:28

Just smile, yeah so you obviously you raise money and you also look for volunteers, right, you're wanting people to help volunteer with. Maybe just tell us like what? What do you, what do you need volunteers for what? What do your volunteers do to help you guys?

Cyndi: 1:18:50

Definitely as we get closer to miles from maddive. That's a huge undertaking. We probably have Somewhere between 80 and 100 volunteers. Wow will help with that and both, you know, leading up into the race with different things getting ready, and then on race day, you know, cleanup, crew setup, crew, work in the registration table, work in the course, giving out what it's it's. It's a huge undertaking, so that's probably our biggest volunteer activity we do things on college campuses where we have volunteers there.

Frank: 1:19:19

so, like in Next week, two weekends, the middle of November is something called the national donor Sabbath, so certain campuses that have Chappals on their campus, they'll do an outreach event surrounded about the faith community and organ donation, and so, and then we just we hold different events and have, like we do parades. You know, we do the Frankfurt fall fest parade and then the fourth of July Mokena parade, and we we'd like to have Volunteers walk with signs representing donor heroes, with pictures of donor heroes who. So it's always, always, we always need volunteers, we always need volunteers.

Israel: 1:20:02

How about any Maybe struggles? What's been the any struggles with the organization or things that you've kind of got through that Over the years?

Frank: 1:20:13

Yeah, go ahead. No, go ahead. No, I was just gonna say, you know, I think any Community-based nonprofit always struggles with fundraising, just because, you know, in order to get from you know to to build a sustainable organization. That's the key for us is, we want this to be sustainable. I don't want to always do this, but I want to make sure that the organization keeps going and keeps, you know, advancing the mission, and so fundraising has always been. Our community has definitely come behind us and and they do all kinds of great fundraising events, whether it be the pizza with a purpose at Pizza Pete or you know just different. We had a community garage sale and things like that to raise money. The community's always been great. But in order to get to that next level and makes a sustainable organization, we need grants. We need to get government grants and community grants or private corporate grants.

Frank: 1:21:12

We need to be supported, the bigger dollars that can make us do more things, and that's our goal is to grow the organization and be able to advance it and do more things like the Coda Crusade, our students for hope on college campuses, and things like that. In order to do those and make those Bigger, we're gonna need bigger corporate grants, and so we're starting to do that grant writing process and Trying to get a lot more grants out there. But if anybody knows of anybody that has a grant out there we'd love to talk to them about it.

Israel: 1:21:44

Any, any community partners that you kind of want to call out as being great supporters of yours up to now.

Cyndi: 1:21:50

Oh, there's a lot Gymkinetics.

Frank: 1:21:54

There's an organization called Nora, the nationwide organ recovery alliance. They're the ones who transport organs. There's the Chicago chapter. That the the gentleman. I won't mention his name, but he lives in New Lenox. He, he found out about our organization this past year and they have been phenomenal. Well, we'd say we're doing an event. Any chance you can bring one of the organ Recovery vehicles to have at the event. The next thing you know, there's 20 of these there.

Frank: 1:22:22

My gosh and these guys are just amazing, nora. And then they connected us with a bunch of car dealers in the area that they buy cars from, who are now supporting us, and so, wow, pizza Pete is amazing, pizza Pete.

Cyndi: 1:22:38

Oh, zingo, of course They've sponsored miles for mad dog. We do sponsorships every year and we get a lot of the community-based Businesses that support image 360.

Frank: 1:22:49

It's always been, have been, good to us printing by Joe has been phenomenal. That's great.

Frank: 1:22:55

It's great to see people the you know, form behind a community, form behind an organization that's well, I like to tell people you know that to me is where Organizations, nonprofits, are making an impact. Their, their community-based nonprofits that are making an impact. And we're fortunate enough to wear, with my background in marketing and Cindy's background in education, that we had enough wear with all to put this together. And Bob rip. We wouldn't be anywhere without Rip and associates. They helped us get our nonprofits status and they're our accountant Phenomenal. But there are so many other great community-based nonprofits out there that we want to do what we can to help them. There's a local organization, the CPR training, and she lost her husband, who was a organ donor and she's heard about mad dog, and contacted us and said I want to do what you do, but I want to do it in the CPR area and promote CPR training and we're like well, we'll help you get it together and well, what can I do for you? Don't worry, we're just. We need to stick together as community-based nonprofits.

Cyndi: 1:24:02

I mean, look at what the Lions Club do does in the community and the Kiwanis, and I mean and that's why at miles for mad dog to we invite any community nonprofit partner who wants to come have a table at miles For mad dog and and introduce people to their missions.

Israel: 1:24:17

That's great.

Cyndi: 1:24:18

So yeah, we usually have. We Several dozen last year, yeah so yeah, so we like to be able to take that opportunity to showcase other nonprofits in the community.

Israel: 1:24:28

That's great. It's awesome to see all you guys are doing. You talked a lot about Jim Fredrickson and Jim kinetics and the part that they play. Just I can talk a little bit about now. You know, years later what part does this Jim and Jim kinetics play in? Mad dog strong.

Frank: 1:24:47

Well, actually I'm glad you asked that I wanted to mention it. So when we started the mad dog strong foundation two months after Maddie passed, I Thought it was kind of a crazy idea, but I wanted, like I said, to be able to tell Maddie's story. Well, jim right away said well, do it, let's do it. And so he's been on our board of directors from day one and Anytime we need anything, jim's there I mean Obviously in the hospital. You saw what kind of guy he is, but he's it's. It's not like he's stuck by our side and helped us every step of the way and still to this day helps us.

Frank: 1:25:30

And I think the coolest thing he ever did was he hired a local artist to Create a mural in Jim kinetics lobby of Maddie. It's huge, it takes up an entire wall and he surprised us with it. And he's got a shadow box with her grips in it and and every kid that walks in that gym sees Maddie on that wall when they walk. Awesome. And I Said it's amazing that you did that for us and he said I didn't do that for you, I did that for me. He said because every morning when I come in here and I turn those lights on. The first person I see is mad dog and I always say good morning to her, and so I mean that shows you what kind of guy he is, but it also shows you what kind of gal Maddie was. That he made that impact on her, yeah, or she made that impact on him, I should say that's amazing.

Israel: 1:26:28

Well, I I can't say enough how much I Appreciate you guys sharing your story and what you guys are doing for the community and for people. I yeah, I it's. It's awesome that you're willing to speak so much and so freely about such a difficult time and, with you know, obviously, the hope of helping others. So thank you guys for doing that. Anything else you want to add, please, you know we'll share your website, your social media, all that.

Frank: 1:27:02

Thank you. Orgin donation has been a gift for us because, you know, I'm not sure how we would have gotten through or getting through this grief without that the hope that organ donation gives you. Everybody understands that a recipient is going to be grateful. They're gonna have incredible gratitude for getting this life-saving organ, but we as a donor family have An incredible amount of gratitude because that helps get us through. They know that, as Maddie put it, something good came from something tragic.

Israel: 1:27:36

Absolutely Awesome. Thank you, guys. Keep up the amazing work and thank you for your time talking to me. Thank you appreciate it. Hope you enjoyed that conversation with Frank and Cindy. I know I sure did. It was great. They gave me this great mad dog strong hat and I got a see up on my my screen. There I have a little land yard that they gave me as well as a great book and Just really enjoyed talking to them.

Israel: 1:28:07

Make sure you check out their website, which is maddogstrongorg has a lot of great information, some great videos on there. Their YouTube channel has a lot of great stuff. They have, you know, go studio in their office. So they're they're doing stuff and and using it to get the word out, which is awesome. You can find them on Facebook, on Twitter or X and Instagram, miles for Maddog. Their 5k Is on Saturday, june 24th 2024, so I think you can register already. So do that. I know we're sure gonna be out there this year and and this coming year, next year, and looking forward to that.

Israel: 1:28:51

So, other than that, just again, please share these episodes. If you're enjoying, you know, the the conversations, if you're enjoying the episodes, we'd love it if you'd share it With your friends, your family. You know, especially, something like this gets the word out about a great organization. So we have this locals page on our website. Now I has local stuff on there, a lot of local organizations, so check those out. We have the link on there to maddog strong, as well as a number of other ones, and if your organization or an organization that you care about is not on the list. Please send us an email with the information. We'd love to have them on there as well, along with events. If you have events you want us to post on there, be happy to do that too.

Israel: 1:29:37

So Check out our website mokenasfrontporch. com. On Facebook, twitter, youtube. This one will be on YouTube. We did a video for all of it, so it may not be a crazy exciting video, but we will have this full version on YouTube and yeah, so have a great Thanksgiving or Christmas as it comes up, or whatever holiday you're celebrating, and Thanks for listening. We're thankful for you and see you next time. on Mokenas front porch.